My (Awful) Practice IOC



Criterion A: 5 - I think that I actually showed a great amount of knowledge concerning the whole text throughout my IOC.  I think this because I was bale to remember who this conversation was about and who it was with.  I also think that I showed my understanding by being able, to a lesser extent,  articulate where this passage falls in the timeline of the book.
Criterion B: 2 - Within the tone section I didn't focus on how what was written affects the reader.  I think that I used the literary devices of character's words and body language, as stated in the question, well, but in not linking it to the reader it lacked depth.  In the second portion I did mention the reader and their thoughts, but I never linked this with literary devices.
Criterion C: 2 - I think I got this because in the beginning I stated my context then my thesis and then my internal points of evidence, and my conclusion
(for which I never said "In conclusion") for the tone section.  However I think that my points didn't fall in a logical order.  I also don't think that the extra section concerning themes at the end had any clear direction.  I was just saying things based on the order I saw them on my paper, which isn't a good strategy.
Criterion D: 2 - I gave myself this score because I had many long pauses and stuttering sessions.  I also think that I switched between formal and informal speaking a little too frequently which didn't support the style appropriate to a commentary.

Comments

  1. Lauren GeneskyMarch 14, 2020 at 10:04 AM

    Hey Ayden!

    Always remember to consider the effect each device or technique has on the passage (normally to establish or emphasize the “big idea”) as well as the effect it has on the reader (criteria B on the rubric). Remember to use TOPIC SENTENCES to guide your reader- these are necessary and missing from your commentary. Keep linking back to your thesis/the purpose of the passage!
    A: 6
    B: 6
    C: 3
    D: 4

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I was

Image
I recognize that I'm not really the type of person that shares their thoughts and feelings on a consistent basis.  So, for all of you that I know will read this, I figured that I'll let you into the oddities of my mind.  At least for a little bit... I'm a person that wants to continue to get better.  Whether that be in the classroom or on the track or better as a person. Betterment was the word I came to Millbrook with and it remained in my "pocket" all 4 years.  Honestly, coming into freshman year I had no defined identity other than "I'm the kid that came from Catholic school."  I knew no one and didn't really feel comfortable talking to anyone.  I had always been a shy and relatively quiet kid who gave teachers a tough time in the "group contribution" category.  Oddly enough I think it was just scared to embarrass myself and have to deal with the people who saw your embarrassing act everyday, all day. Millbrook both gave ...
Read more

The American Dream

The American Dream.  It's a common phrase.  A phrase used regularly as a pedestal to put hope for a "better life" on.  After scouring the internet, I've come up with the definition that the American Dream is the belief in the opportunity to work hard and elevate yourself within society, regardless of individual characteristics.  I believe this to be the definition Fitzgerald functions on, my my own is slightly different based on some personal experience.  I define the American Dream as the ability to elevate one's self within society through hard work, SACRIFICE, and a dash of LUCK. My definition includes sacrifice and luck, because of what has happened to the two most influential men in my life.  Those being my dad and my grandpa Mosler.  My grandpa sacrificed a lot in my opinion during his life working as a janitor (during my childhood) and a butcher (ing my father's childhood) while trying to raise my father and his five other siblings.  He w...
Read more

Walt Whitman or Gandalf the Grey

Image
Upon initially looking at Whitman's notebooks I noticed the abundance of strike-throughs, hand-drawn images, and stamps.  I also noticed that everything was written in cursive, which would have been typical of his time and social status, as well as the constant mention of sailing and ships.  I think it's all important in characterizing Whitman.  For instance, the strike-throughs give us evidence to back up that he was a thoughtful man, with potentially scattered thoughts, but with the intent of always wanting the perfect wording of things.  The images, believed to be drawn by others, show us how sociable he was.  He was integrated in society and knew about it because he lived it, unlike other famous recluse poets who comment on the world from their exterior view.  The constant mention of ships and sailing describe a type of conflict, probably inner, that he was dealing with.  I say this because it was always about the waters raging or beating on the...
Read more